When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
