Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I am available for nakedness
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
