My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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