here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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