I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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