Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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