I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Vodka?
Forever.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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