wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think people are normalizing furries
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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