he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
