Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
