new low.... made out with someone while peeing
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We are all done wearing pants today
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
