Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
