She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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