I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
