Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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