i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you will always have a special place in my vag
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
