hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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