It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
