READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
