I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
