i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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