left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
