im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
