Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
