1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
