you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
