I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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