I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
