Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
