i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
