i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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