mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
