You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
