So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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