One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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