"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i barfeds in our rink
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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