She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
why is half of my head shaved?
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