What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
