guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
