I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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