I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We need a shit load of segways right now
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
