She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
