After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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