the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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