I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
