She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
