If i come over, it means nothing
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
