barbara walters just said penis...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
