Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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