Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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