help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
