Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
