don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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