youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
